Profiling

 Please pause a moment, reflect back, and take the following Multiple
Choice test. (The events are actual cuts from past history. They actually
happened!
 Do you remember?)

 1. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were
 kidnapped and massacred by:

 a. Olga Corbitt
 b. Sitting Bull
 c. Arnold Schwartzeneger
 d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the
 ages of 17 and 40


 2. In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:

 a. Lost Norwegians
 b. Elvis
 c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
 d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the
 ages of 17 and 40


 3. During the 1980's a number of Americans were
 kidnapped in Lebanon by:

 a. John Dillinger
 b. The King of Sweden
 c. The Boy Scouts
 d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


 4. In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut
 was blown up by:

 a. A pizza delivery boy
 b. Pee Wee Herman
 c. Geraldo Rivera
 d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


 5. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked
 and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and
 thrown overboard in his wheelchair by:

 a. The Smurfs
 b. Davy Jones
 c. The Little Mermaid
 d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages    of 17 and 40


 6. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a
 U.S. Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:

 a. Captain Kid
 b. Charles Lindbergh
 c. Mother Teresa
 d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


 7. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:

 a. Scooby Doo
 b. The Tooth Fairy
 c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
 d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


 8. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the
 first time by:

 a. Richard Simmons
 b. Grandma Moses
 c. Michael Jordan
 d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

 9. In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were
 bombed by:

 a. Mr. Rogers
 b. Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women
 problems
 c. The World Wrestling Federation
 d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


 10. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as
 missiles to take out the World Trade Center and of the
 remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the
 other was diverted to a crash by the passengers. Thousands
 of people were killed by:

 a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
 b. The Supreme Court of Florida
 c. Mr. Bean
 d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


 11. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:

 a. Enron
 b. The Lutheran Church
 c. The NFL
 d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


 12. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:

 a. Bonny and Clyde
 b. Captain Kangaroo
 c. Billy Graham
 d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

 Nope, . . . I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you?
 So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics
intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to
 profile certain people. They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old
 women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret
 Service agents who are members of the President's security detail,
85-year
 old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning former
 Governors.

 Let's send this to as many people as we can so that the Gloria Aldreds
and
 other dunderheaded attorneys along with Federal Justices that want to
thwart
 common sense feel doubly ashamed of themselves. As the writer of the
award
 winning story Forest Gump so aptly put it, "Stupid is as stupid does!"